Monday, March 22, 2010

Sometime it takes the darkness to see the light.

Gospel Reading Today John 8:12-20
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

Darkness is not a fun place to be. I feel I have been in darkness or the "desert" this past week. I jumped out of bed this morning at 5:15 because I could not wait to start walking back into the light with my morning offering and prayer time. Since we have been out of town, I have felt very away from the Lord. Usually this doesn't happen but this week it sure did. I haven't prayed much and my mind has wandered far from what is important. Obsessed about marketing for our business and questioning my worthiness of motherhood after comparing my very "spirited children" to my best friend's calm and easy going children....I have wondered, "what are we (Clint and I) doing wrong?". I have slumped back into the mode of self-doubt and concerned with the things of the world. At mass saturday night, I was in tears. I felt the warmth of the Lord and His abundant love nurturing my soul. I felt back in the arms of Christ after being away this past week. This is an example of being in the light but sometimes having a shadow of darkness luring over us. The power of daily prayer has been proven to me this past week. It is essential spiritual food that we need to survive on daily. The moment we start slipping, the more we start experiencing lonliness and darkness. As mothers, to keep our minds on track on the most important task at hand, we have to walk in the light of Christ through prayer. Offering our days up to God's will and His work through us will only nourish us and keep us on the straight and narrow path. The world is hungry and selfish and wants us to be concerned and consumed with its ways. The moment we start slipping away from prayer, the starvation and thirst of this world starts luring us in. We are all guilty of it, but a little time in the desert helps us to thirst and hunger for the light. In a way, it can be a blessing spiritually to have a little "desert time". It makes us thankful to jump out of bed eager to spend time with the Lord. It helps us to take a deep breath and find comfort in realizing we are not in control. It helps us to take a step back and be reminded of what is most important. So a little darkness from time to time will help us see the light better. This is all a part of growing spiritually. This is a wonderful tool in knowing you have a relationship with Christ. Because you "find" yourself in darkness, realize it and turn back to the light.

So this is a reminder of what lent is all about. Calling us back to the light after being in darkness. We all wonder in darkness from time to time, but Jesus reminds us through the gospel reading of the adultress, John 8:1-11,how forgiving He is. He doesn't judge us for wandering in the dark, He forgives us for our sins and welcomes us back with open arms. So if you have felt in the dark lately, know that this is part of your spiritual growth and that the sun always comes up when we get back on the right road of walking daily with Jesus and His heavenly court. Whoo, I already feel better. Jesus teaches me so much when I write....that is one of the main reasons I do this. The Holy Spirit guides my hands and my heart....I just sit back and listen. Thank you, Jesus. I love you so much!

Blessings to you this Monday!


Frugal Jen said...

Kim, we enjoyed stopping by this afternoon. What a joy watching the kids play in the sunshine.

You are an incrediable mother and inspiration to us all. We all have our challenges but need to encourage and pick each other up. Blessings this week as you get back into your routine.

Cathy said...

Ahhh...those words of "what are we doing wrong" can really beat you up at times and yet at others make you stop and think. I too have friends and family who have such quiet, "well mannered?" etc. children. I too, use to say "how come their kids are so "good" and ours are so ....?" I have come to realize that my children will never be quiet little angels. They just don't have it in their DNA! My husband especially is busy and loud and as the kids say " a get er done" kinda dad! But thank God he doesn't expect us to all be the same! He does expect obedience and humility but also I think all kinds of personality! Now, as mothers we just have to enjoy this diversity and channel it towards the light!