Monday, March 29, 2010

Our Children Won't Always Be Around....

Gospel Reading Today John 12:1-8
“You will always have poor people with you, but you will not always have me.” John 12:8

We all get grouchy from time to time; mainly because we get burned out of all the things that constantly have to be done. Yesterday, I was such a grouch. First of all, my husband has been working nonstop and ended up so sick this weekend. So he was in bed all day and for me, yesterday was just an ordinary day. We had gone to church on Saturday night so we could rest on Sunday…..what wishful thinking that was! My one-day of rest turned into hectic chaos of crabby kids, piles of laundry, dirty baseboards, a flowerbed full of weeds….all staring at me in the face. I was wishing I were the one sick in bed. We went to the park and I found myself filled with self-pity and bitterness. I was thinking to myself, “I don’t want to be swinging my children today!” As I pushed Clementine higher in frustration my resentment rose higher. “Today is my day off from all of this!”, I exclaimed in my soul. So needless to say, Kim had a nice big pity party yesterday.

First of all, we are human. After constantly caring for little ones with no break, we eventually will break ourselves. We lay down our lives day in and day out and there will be days we will be filled with self-pity. A Priest once told me that as mothers, we have to have time away every once in awhile. As Jesus would climb a hill to pray and have “alone time”, so do we mothers need some alone time. Sundays are usually my day to slip away for an hour or two to have a cup of coffee and sift through some gardening books at Borders. But when Clint has a busy week at work and I am caring for these little ones 24/7, I start to get worn out and broken. I was screaming at God in the middle of the night on Friday, because all I wanted was one night of rest. “Just one, God! I am not asking for much….just some sleep!” I usually get a full nights rest every 2-3 weeks.

I am reminded in the gospel reading today that just as Jesus told Mary, Lazarus’s sister, that He would not always be around, our children will not always be around. As I watched quietly yesterday as Clementine danced in her Easter dress and gloves in the other room, I was reminded that she will not always be a little girl. These times are precious and quickly passing. I look to the next couple of weeks with no glimpse of a break from children and chores. Just as Mary broke the expensive jar of oil all over Jesus’ feet, I need to break my vessel of selfishness and self-pity and let the fragrance of compassion and love fill my home and cover my loved ones. This is my prayer today.

As we begin Holy Week, let us remind ourselves that we are human. But let us also remind ourselves of the agony and heartbreak Jesus and the Blessed Mother felt through the Passion. Instead of becoming angry and bitter, they embraced the cross with Love for all of us. Because we are human, we are broken and let us ask Jesus to pick us up and carry us through the trenches of Motherhood.

Blessings to you all this Monday!

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