Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Feeling Distant from Jesus at Times

`Gospel Reading today in Mass:
"My mother and my brother are those who hear the word of God and obey it." Luke 8:19-21

I think we all go through different moments of feeling very close to Jesus and other time we feel a bit distant. Lately, I have been up throughout the night with my toddlers so I have been sleeping in until 6:30 and trying to pray my rosary and have my time with the Lord amongst the voice of Barney (that alone will put you in a bad mood real fast!). Yesterday I was deep cleaning and decided to move furniture around to only wake up this morning missing my little "sanctuary" with my statue of the blessed Mother and candle......my sanctuary ended up getting tossed throughout my mind set of a new home yesterday. I realized as I got into bed last night I was self serving yesterday....I had a friend stop by for coffee and I was not in tune to our conversation because in the back of my mind I was rearranging furniture. My best friend who lives far way called and I told her I had to call her back because I was moving furniture. I was not Christ for others yesterday and I did not allow them to be Christ for me. They might have really needed to talk or tell me something and I wasn't available to them. As I woke up this morning I felt lost without my sanctuary and like I had wasted the day yesterday because I will be moving everything back to the way it was today.

So needless to say, I feel a bit distant from the Lord. I have been checking out spiritually to focus my mind and heart into the things of the world and it doesn't feel good. I thought last night that I want to do nothing but serve the Lord each and every day. I have had a taste of the "everlasting high"....the pure joy and bliss I feel when serving the Lord. The feeling of serving Jesus blows the "instant high" of self serving away. I wondered when I read the Gospel of Luke today if the Blessed Mother and Jesus' loved ones felt distant at times....especially at this particular moment when he said not to invite his Mother and brothers in because they already know the teaching of God. I know that Mary probably never felt "distant" and probably totally understood the situation, but I know she understands when we feel distant and will always help bring us back to her son.

Just know you are human if you don't feel the Lord close, but ask to be drawn back to him. Say a little prayer at the kitchen sink or as you change your baby's diaper. Think about where you are serving yourself when you should be serving Jesus. There is no better feeling than walking right next to Jesus daily. We walk daily with Jesus by being in the midst of our children. Rest in Jesus' arms today because He is near to you leading you by the hand as you care for your family.

Have a blessed Tuesday!

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