Gospel Reading today Luke 9:22-25
"And he said to all, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it.For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" 9:23-25
The gospel reading today is very contradictory to the world's views. I hear more and more the saying "what's in it for me?" or "I feel like I am losing my self in the midst of motherhood." If you feel at times you have "lost" yourself, be grateful because you are actually saving your life as Jesus tells us. When we give up ourselves and our lives for others, we are saving ourselves from this corrupt and self centered world and gaining eternal salvation. However, it is important for us to take care of ourselves so we can take care of our family. Ways that I take care of myself is having an afternoon alone on sunday while my husband is home with the kids. I usually go to Borders and have a cup of coffee and look at books. Sometimes, I go sit in Eucharistic adoration and just "be" with Jesus. In the afternoons, we go to Lifetime Fitness as a family after I put dinner in the oven (around 4:30). I excersise while listening to podcasts such as EWTN, Father Robert Barron at wordonfire.org or twoedgetalk.com, which all help me grow in my faith. We get home around 6:00 and sit down as a family to eat dinner. This works really great for us now but I know it will change soon as my children get older.
What I don't get filled with is turning my time alone to shopping or self indulgences. We are told by our world we need to be at the spa because we need to take care of ourselves. Usually when I leave the Spa, I am not spiritually filled. It is instant gratification.....where it feels good at the moment but it does nothing for my soul afterwards. Not to mention it is a mere fortune...money we don't have. Or shopping....it only stresses me out because I have such a limited amount of time away. When I come home with a shopping bag, yes it feels good to have something new to wear, but I don't come home filled with peace and goodness in my soul. This is why to truly take care of ourselves in order to better take care of our family, we have to spend our time away nurturing our souls....refilling your vessels with life giving water. The next time you have "quiet time", go sit in silence in the church or Echauristic adoration. Take a good book and sit in silence at a park while you sip your coffee and read about the Saints. Prayer time in the morning is also vital in nurturing yourself. This is my Gasoline that keeps my motor running.
This morning I woke up and my body was beat to the core. From serving our families every day and losing our lives, it can be nothing but exhausting. However, doesn't the exhaustion feel good sometimes? Because we are doing work that is Eternal.....that has such meaning. I know someday I will have as much quiet time as I need. When my kids are off at school or someday gone to college. I hope by then, I will be filled with Thanksgiving of all of the times I served the Lord and lost my life in the chaos as I yearned for just one moment of quiet time. I hope to be filled with good memories and not regret. For I think the worst feeling in the world for a woman would be the regret of wishing she would have spent more time with her children or possibly spent more time growing in holiness instead of turning to world's desires. And hopefully by the time our children have children, we can still be their first teachers on how to balance the craziness of babies, toddlers, and quiet time.
Blessing to you this Thursday. Be grateful you that you are losing your life to your family in order to save it.
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